From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!

A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."

Allegedly, a Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."

Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough for another one."

Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,... and I didn't land."

Well, I guess you really want it !   

BTW, we just passed the half way mark of 500 posts !  And at the rate you are making new posts, we may have to do the draw tomorrow 

   Doing what little i can

Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,... and I didn't land."

Allegedly, while taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!" Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?" US Air 2771: "Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

Hi Anwar ,
I think you should discount these posts as not counted    this is like political arithmetic  

Any way Ganesh  seems to be in ahurry to get to the sweep stake but Shops are out right no bending rules on that , if rules changed I could also add to these Ghisa Pita old jokes to reach 1 K by  cut pasting from somewhere else .

These posts do not add in any way to the value of the Forum in fact it derides the  forum when done like this in a day. 

sai

I AM JUST POSTING HERE TO HAVE FUN.IF YOU DO THINK I AM POSTING FOR A LAMA YOU CAN DELETE MY WHOLE THREAD.IF ANYONE DOES WANNA ADD TO THIS THEY ARE ON THEIR FREE WILL TO DO SO

I think Mr Sai also meant that in a funny way.  Take it easy.  With everything we are doing on this forum, we all have much, much bigger motives than the LAMA and even any sort of winning !

Let me make it clear.  I think each one of us want to (and are prepared to) lose, just to put a smile on the face of a fellow RCer !

GANESH  ,
OVER DOSE OF FUN  FOR   DAY  
SPREAD THE FUN OUT   A JOKE A DAY IT FUN THIS TENDS TO GET BORING .
HAVING A DRINK OR TWO IS ENJOYMENT, DOWNING A FULL BOTTLE IN A SITTING  ( LEAVE THE REST TO THE READERS IMAGINATION )
SPREAD THE CHEER  BUT KEEP IT RATIONED SO EVERY DAY IS ENJOYABLE  

SAI

Yep, do continue to post such fun items    A slower rate/pace would have helped everyone digest and truly enjoy them more 

Vokay.will limit the posting.Jus had too much of free time today  . 

Hobby King has really done it this time.  

http://www.hobbyking.com/hobbyking/store/__80051__Durafly_39_Undies_39_Hobby_Suitable_Underwear_1PC_.html



First released over 7000 years ago under the brand Loincloth, underwear has become a must have item for all people, but especially hobbyists. In 1341 BC underwear advanced from a cloth strip into a triangular piece of fabric, somewhat representing the front of the underpants we are so familiar with today. Over the next 2,700 years, underwear has evolved into the engineered piece of clothing it is today, manufactured from a variety of materials including cotton, nylon, spandex and even hemp.

The Durafly Undies range takes underwear to the next level boasting a huge range of performance features. They can be used as yacht sails, tire warmers, prop covers or tackle box.

What makes the Durafly Undies stand out from the rest is that every pair are pre-worn by our very own HobbyKing test pilots for at least one week, ensuring your undies are soft and comfortable. Your Durafly Undies may have been pre-worn by Stuart, Paul, Byron or Chris. The Durafly Undies are hand crafted by highly skilled engineers and come rock solid right out of the box. These are a must have item for any avid RC hobbyist or seedy pervert.  > >

Specs:
Waist: 34in
Length: 8in
Flying Weight: 190g

Includes:
Waist band
Front Pocket
Patina

Requires:

Balls  > >

*Note: Colors and size may vary depending on test pilots mood.
PRODUCT ID: apr201502

     

http://www.hobbyking.com/hobbyking/store/__80050__HobbyKing_Invisible_Jet_EP_NO_1100mm_PNF_.html



The invisible jet entered service in January 1942. It was designed by William Moulton who at the time worked for DC Comics. The invisible jet was first piloted by the super hero Wonder Woman, who demonstrated its abilities to fly supersonic. The invisible jet was the first aircraft to hold stealth technology, which at the time was known as a cloaking device. It was also known for its silent propulsion device, as well as it’s abilities to fly into outer space. Beyond all of this it was the first aircraft ever to operate as a drone, flying solely on Wonder Woman’s thoughts.
An industry first, the HobbyKing™ Invisible Jet is made from tough EP-NO foam and is superbly finished with transparent waterslide decals. As well as not looking the part, being Plug-and-fly, it is easy to assemble. The EDF unit, ESC, UBEC and servo's are all pre-installed, saving you the time in trying to find the invisible parts in the invisible box.
Jets are about performance and the HobbyKing™ Invisible Jet will not disappoint. It has excellent speed and climb rate, when you combine this performance with the real invisible presence of this model, not to mention the un-canny scale-like silent sound, the end result is one of the most unrealistic jets in this class. Where this Invisible Jet differs from other scale jets is that it is almost impossible to see. 
Fast, stable, scale, reliable, easy to store with, easy to fly and with zero visibility, the HobbyKing™ Invisible Jet will be extremely hard to see at any airfield. Ideal for people with poor vison, a must for any blind person!


Specs:
Wingspan: 1100mm
Length: 888mm
Flying Weight: 0.001g
EDF: 70mm with 2700kv 2836 Gravitation Harnessing Device
ESC: 45A w/UBEC
Servo: 0.0009g x 4
Retracts: Servoless Electronic Type
Note: Specs may vary as the actual jet has never been seen.

Includes:
All Clearware
Invisible Pilot Figure
Invisible Instructions

Requires:
Your own invisible 5~6 Channel TX/RX
2200mAh~2650mAh 0s Un-obtainium Battery

PRODUCT ID: apr201501

Happy April Fools Day 

And why did they post this along with the advertisment Do they think people would wear it to look like bane



Bane