I have already posted this on another forum.But i posting it here again-In a quest to win the Lama 

I have always wanted to win somethin  So the quest begins

Youre addicted to RC, when..

You read nothing but TX and models manuals on the can.
You have converted a mobile home to have room for all your planes, with just space enough to sleep.
Your RC ensurance costs more then your cars.
You have something RC in a radius of 5ft from you, at all times.
Your wife brags about you having sertain amazing thumb techniques. 
Youve heard "Hey, that looks just like the plane I tossed in the bin after crashing last week" more then once, at your club field.

-when you go to the petrol station, you ask where the glow fuel pump is

-if you plan to go outside for any reason, and it's windy, you go back inside again and find out when it's due to be calm next

-you try to remove the spark plug from your car with a glow-plug wrench

-when the power steering goes, you tell the people at the car garage to change the servo

If you worked feverishly in all your free time, it would take three years to clear up you backlog of kits.

There are pictures of your models in your office but none of your wife.

You host a fun fly when it's so cold that one of the events is starting your engine.

You accept a crash as an opportunity to start that great new kit.

You think the perfect weekend is defined by having a good day at the flying field followed by a frisky evening with the Mrs.....but you'd settle for a good day at the field.

You keep your old van just to transport planes in.

Every piece of material you hold in your hands, you wonder if it would make a good plane.

You start a ministry, and the focus is RC planes.

Your yard has funny looking putholes all over the place, yet theres no mole near your yard for miles.
The smooth tarmac biketrail at your local park has funny airport markings sprayed on it.
People at the park start asking "What kept you so long??".
Your car has a skibox on its roof, yet you NEVER go skieing.
You have a "special room" for your planes.
You have a gallon drum of adhesive in your shed.
You have atleast 3 different heating irons.
Your neck shows a white strip, that is the same width as your TX strap.
You take a lawnmower with you, to the park.

When you go out of town on vacation, and as soon as you get to the motel, you open the yellow pages to "Hobby Shops"

When your Master Card statement reflects all of the charges to a single store

When you put the cheapest gas possible in your $30,000 car, but you insist on at least 15% nitro for your OS 46.

When the address book in Outlook Express is almost all RC buddies!

you call from the field and wish your wife a happy anniversary.
you go into full blown withdrawl during the winter.
you forget the milk but remember the cya.
you buy kids shampoo and keep the cute little figure on the cap and throw the shampoo away.

Your birthday gifts come from other clubmembers letting you get a few flights on their planes.

You just blew up your Rc motor and think that the Piston rod combo makes a great key fob.

Your friends come to your house to borrow stuff because you have a greater inventory that the LHS.

You are the only person at the field during bad weather flying your plane.

You make RC purchases for projects 3 years in the future due to all of your current RC projects.

You wonder how many RC engines it would take to power your car.

Pilot: "DAMN! That was close..."
IAD Tower: "Delta 560, what seems to be the problem?"
Pilot (catching his breath), "Near miss- was he ever close!"
IAD Tower: "Delta 560, how close was it?"
Pilot: "Well, I can tell you one thing, it was a white boy flying it."

Northwest 605: "Northwest 605 request taxi to the active MSP."
Ground: "Northwest 605 taxi to runway **, follow the CRJ, you will be number two."
Northwest 605: "Roger, we will follow the Smurf-Jet."
Flagship 5600: "At least my airplane does not qualify for an AARP membership.."

(For those who don't know, AARP is the American Association of Retired Persons, and CRJ stands for Canadair Regional Jet.)

Well, I hope you don't win    

Because...

1) According to Rule [3] posted at http://www.rcindia.org/free-donations-and-sweepstakes/the-rc-india-1k-sweepstakes/, all hobby shop owners are excluded.

and

2) I sincerely hope some newcomer wins it !

BTW, I am open to bending the rules, if you are keen on participating  

 A friend of the family used to fly for US Air, and told us this tale of how one day his plane was one of many trying to land at a busy airport. One of the controllers came on and reported something happened to cause a further delay and that those planes in a holding pattern would need to stay there. Almost immediately, one of the pilots responded with, "****!" The controller then said something to the effect of, "Sir, the use of profane language is prohibited on this channel by FAA and FCC regulations. Please identify yourself." After a moment, one of the pilots reported, "This is flight 123 and we are negative on the ****." A moment after that, another flight reported in, "This is flight 456 and we are also negative on the ****." One by one, each and every one of the flights reported in as being "negative on the ****."

I Dont own a hobby shop I just work There(as a owner)  .Also I am a new comer to Helis 

My brother is an air traffic controller, and has two favorite conversations he recounts. One of them I'm sure is a true story, because I was there when it happened; the other is completely consistent with his personality. The first was as a small General Aviation airport in the midwest. A student doing touch-and-go's reported flying past some geese on his downwind leg. The controller responded with "Skipper 3846 Sierra cleared for the option break break attention all aircraft caution watertory migrafowl reported north of the airfield." After a pause somebody responded "You mean, like, birds?" The controller, without hestitation, replied, "Yes sir!"

A huge C-5 cargo plane was sitting near where a small plane was waiting to take off. The private pilot got a little nervous because the military plane was closer than normal, and asked the tower to find out the intentions of the C-5. Before the tower could reply, a voice came over the radio as the C-5's nose cargo doors opened, saying, "I'm going to eat you."

A story from the late 1950's Navy flight training at Corpus Christi, Texas. Instructors were known to party hard at night, even before a 'hop' the next morning. A common 'cure' was to put on the mask and breathe the pure oxygen while the trainee got the craft airborne. The SNJ training aircraft had a tandum cockpit with intercom for personal communication between the instructor and the trainee. These 'private' communications would be broadcast on air if the intercom switch were accidentally left open. One such morning following a heavy night for one particular instructor, not long after the flight was aloft, the following was heard over the air: "Boy, am I ever f...ed up this morning." After a lengthy pause a young lady air traffic controller demanded: "Aircraft making that last transmission, please identify yourself." There was an even lengthier pause, and then a voice said: "Lady, I'm not that f...ed up."

The Stapleton runways were so close together that aircraft on parallel runways had to see each other and provide visual separation before Control could issue an approach clearance. Commonly when pilots were asked if had they had traffic in sight they would lazily respond with, "I see some lights," which, frustratingly, did not meet requirements for approach clearance. One very busy night a particular crew would not report the traffic in sight. Finally the pilot said, "I see some lights over there." The controller responded in a vexed tone, "Is there an aircraft attached to those lights?" Laughing, the pilot responded, "Why I do believe there is. Thanks we have the aircraft in sight." For that crew at least, the point was made.

After being informed by a pilot cleared to land in Fayetteville that he now had two light aircraft cleared to land on opposite ends of the same runway, the controller paused and transmitted "Y'all be careful now."

A newly promoted Military Liaison Officer was standing the morning watch at Oakland ARTCC. His former controller team mates sent an assistant to the front desk, requesting permission from the new MLO to start the 'wind tunnels' at Moffett NAS (there weren't any of course). Not wanting to appear ignorant, the MLO granted the request. After notifying the front desk a short time later that there were reports of severe to extreme turbulence in the vicinity of San Carlos, Palo Alto and San Jose airports, the controllers watched in glee as the rookie supervisor grabbed the 'hot phone' and bellowed to the watch supervisor at Moffett (and through the loudspeakers at every other ATC facility in Oakland's area), "This is the Oakland Center Supervisor and I'm ordering you to immediately shut off that f...ing fan!"

A young, newly checked out local controller at Logan Airport granted the request of a Trans Portuguese "707" to use non-active 15R (the longest runway) for departure and cleared the plane to "taxi into position and hold". Seeing what he thought was a short pause coming in crossing operations, he told the crew to "Be ready and spool 'em up!" The old "oil burner" sat on the runway with fire walled engines belching clouds of black smoke over nearby neighborhoods for many minutes. Only when the ground controller announced that airport fire apparatus was responding to a major fire in East Boston did anyone in the tower realize that the rookie (now stirring his newly poured coffee) had forgotten the plane and everything from Orient Heights to the Mystic River Bridge had disappeared in his exhaust.

A military pilot had been having difficulty with smooth landings and the crew was required to make note of the exact time the plane landed at different bases. One particular landing took several bounces before staying on the ground. The crew reportedly called up to the pilot, "Which landing shall we note for the record, Sir?"

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!

A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."

Allegedly, a Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."

Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough for another one."

Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,... and I didn't land."

Well, I guess you really want it !   

BTW, we just passed the half way mark of 500 posts !  And at the rate you are making new posts, we may have to do the draw tomorrow 

   Doing what little i can

Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,... and I didn't land."

Allegedly, while taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!" Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?" US Air 2771: "Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

Hi Anwar ,
I think you should discount these posts as not counted    this is like political arithmetic  

Any way Ganesh  seems to be in ahurry to get to the sweep stake but Shops are out right no bending rules on that , if rules changed I could also add to these Ghisa Pita old jokes to reach 1 K by  cut pasting from somewhere else .

These posts do not add in any way to the value of the Forum in fact it derides the  forum when done like this in a day. 

sai

I AM JUST POSTING HERE TO HAVE FUN.IF YOU DO THINK I AM POSTING FOR A LAMA YOU CAN DELETE MY WHOLE THREAD.IF ANYONE DOES WANNA ADD TO THIS THEY ARE ON THEIR FREE WILL TO DO SO

I think Mr Sai also meant that in a funny way.  Take it easy.  With everything we are doing on this forum, we all have much, much bigger motives than the LAMA and even any sort of winning !

Let me make it clear.  I think each one of us want to (and are prepared to) lose, just to put a smile on the face of a fellow RCer !

GANESH  ,
OVER DOSE OF FUN  FOR   DAY  
SPREAD THE FUN OUT   A JOKE A DAY IT FUN THIS TENDS TO GET BORING .
HAVING A DRINK OR TWO IS ENJOYMENT, DOWNING A FULL BOTTLE IN A SITTING  ( LEAVE THE REST TO THE READERS IMAGINATION )
SPREAD THE CHEER  BUT KEEP IT RATIONED SO EVERY DAY IS ENJOYABLE  

SAI

Yep, do continue to post such fun items    A slower rate/pace would have helped everyone digest and truly enjoy them more 

Vokay.will limit the posting.Jus had too much of free time today  . 

Hobby King has really done it this time.  

http://www.hobbyking.com/hobbyking/store/__80051__Durafly_39_Undies_39_Hobby_Suitable_Underwear_1PC_.html



First released over 7000 years ago under the brand Loincloth, underwear has become a must have item for all people, but especially hobbyists. In 1341 BC underwear advanced from a cloth strip into a triangular piece of fabric, somewhat representing the front of the underpants we are so familiar with today. Over the next 2,700 years, underwear has evolved into the engineered piece of clothing it is today, manufactured from a variety of materials including cotton, nylon, spandex and even hemp.

The Durafly Undies range takes underwear to the next level boasting a huge range of performance features. They can be used as yacht sails, tire warmers, prop covers or tackle box.

What makes the Durafly Undies stand out from the rest is that every pair are pre-worn by our very own HobbyKing test pilots for at least one week, ensuring your undies are soft and comfortable. Your Durafly Undies may have been pre-worn by Stuart, Paul, Byron or Chris. The Durafly Undies are hand crafted by highly skilled engineers and come rock solid right out of the box. These are a must have item for any avid RC hobbyist or seedy pervert.  > >

Specs:
Waist: 34in
Length: 8in
Flying Weight: 190g

Includes:
Waist band
Front Pocket
Patina

Requires:

Balls  > >

*Note: Colors and size may vary depending on test pilots mood.
PRODUCT ID: apr201502

     

http://www.hobbyking.com/hobbyking/store/__80050__HobbyKing_Invisible_Jet_EP_NO_1100mm_PNF_.html



The invisible jet entered service in January 1942. It was designed by William Moulton who at the time worked for DC Comics. The invisible jet was first piloted by the super hero Wonder Woman, who demonstrated its abilities to fly supersonic. The invisible jet was the first aircraft to hold stealth technology, which at the time was known as a cloaking device. It was also known for its silent propulsion device, as well as it’s abilities to fly into outer space. Beyond all of this it was the first aircraft ever to operate as a drone, flying solely on Wonder Woman’s thoughts.
An industry first, the HobbyKing™ Invisible Jet is made from tough EP-NO foam and is superbly finished with transparent waterslide decals. As well as not looking the part, being Plug-and-fly, it is easy to assemble. The EDF unit, ESC, UBEC and servo's are all pre-installed, saving you the time in trying to find the invisible parts in the invisible box.
Jets are about performance and the HobbyKing™ Invisible Jet will not disappoint. It has excellent speed and climb rate, when you combine this performance with the real invisible presence of this model, not to mention the un-canny scale-like silent sound, the end result is one of the most unrealistic jets in this class. Where this Invisible Jet differs from other scale jets is that it is almost impossible to see. 
Fast, stable, scale, reliable, easy to store with, easy to fly and with zero visibility, the HobbyKing™ Invisible Jet will be extremely hard to see at any airfield. Ideal for people with poor vison, a must for any blind person!


Specs:
Wingspan: 1100mm
Length: 888mm
Flying Weight: 0.001g
EDF: 70mm with 2700kv 2836 Gravitation Harnessing Device
ESC: 45A w/UBEC
Servo: 0.0009g x 4
Retracts: Servoless Electronic Type
Note: Specs may vary as the actual jet has never been seen.

Includes:
All Clearware
Invisible Pilot Figure
Invisible Instructions

Requires:
Your own invisible 5~6 Channel TX/RX
2200mAh~2650mAh 0s Un-obtainium Battery

PRODUCT ID: apr201501

Happy April Fools Day 

And why did they post this along with the advertisment Do they think people would wear it to look like bane



Bane